Coping with Aging Parents

My mom’s health is declining, that’s something really hard to admit out loud some days. Neither of my parents were ever the pinnacle of physically fitness and they work very hard on a daily basis.  So to be honest I always knew this day would come, I just kind of hoped it would happen after my 20’s. It’s hard having your parent’s health declining while they still consider you a child. I swear, I say things and they just go in one ear-and out the other. What I’m trying to say is, it’s hard to parent your parent when your parent is still parenting you. LOL, if that makes sense?

It’s definitely a frustrating process for both parties; taking on someone else’s struggles can be overwhelming. From my experience, I think it’s really important to have someone or something to relate to. Here are some helpful and positive ways to deal with your aging parents.

Take time for yourself. There are weeks where I find myself constantly doing things for others, which isn’t bad but we need to remember to also save some TLC for ourselves. Go to the spa, get some ice cream, listen to music, play video games or paint. Do something that brings joy to your life.

Remember all you can do is try to help. I think a lot of my stress resonated in my negative perspective, but really all you can do is try and help. You can only do so much until it starts affecting you and you need to make sure you look out for number one. Try to think about positive aspects of your life; sometimes I’ll make a list of everything I’m thankful for. It helps me remember all the good in my life.

Remember to be humble. At the end of the day they’re your parent and they need you. It makes it twice as hard on them when you’re being difficult or non-sympathetic. However their health is declining you should be respectful and care about what they’re going through because it’s definitely not easy.

Plan fun things to do. The simplest things such as a family dinner or a game night with friends can help provide a sense of relief during stressful weeks. It also helps to keep you goal oriented and able to plan for new experiences.

Lastly, take it one day at time.

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She Ain’t Fat Bruh

SheAintFatBruh_BlogTMC

The only good thing about getting home from vacation is being able to catch up on all the dope tunes I missed out on when I was gone. At the top of my mind, I instantly thought Drake’s new album Views and  Beyonce’s Lemonade, until I came across a new track by Trinidad James called “Just A Lil’ Thick” (She Juicy) ft. Mystikal, Lil Dicky.

Besides having a great beat, which is one of my top priorities as a person who A) likes to dance and B) often throws parties. This track embraces the idea of loving women’s bodies who in modern day society would be considered “fat, obese, or overweight”. Our society often resorts to body shaming when someone’s body does not fit the ideal body type, for women the ideal body type is someone who is considered thin, or skinny.

For most women, laying outside of these standards can result in negative feedback from society, work place opportunities, lovers, friends and family. In the music video, James rejects societal stereotypes about what men should want or find attractive in a female, while also changing the negative idea of the word “fat” and saying “She ain’t fat bruh, just a lil thick”. This transforms the negative stereotype of “fat” into something that isn’t so offensive to those who have a larger body type.

He tackles fat shaming attitudes by embracing the positive side to thicker women, with lyrics like “I’m talkin the 175 and up club, the we cook good, we eat good, we look good”. This acknowledges that just because a woman likes to eat, it does not make her “fat” but an attractive woman who is comfortable enough in her own skin to actually EAT!

This song actually makes me happy when I listen to it; I think as women, our bodies and our looks can sometimes be a daily struggle, especially if we aren’t being supported by others around us. Some people go to extremes just to be so thin because society tells them this how you should be and look.

To me I’ve never been that skinny girl, I LOVE FOOD and always will, but I know how in our heads we can get as females, sometimes it can literally ruin my week just because the pressures of looking good are so strong, especially in summer time.

So to every woman out there who is struggling with body issues, weight issues, beauty issues, just know that you are NOT alone, you’re smart, you’re beautiful and you will find someone who will love you for you. Stop trying to fit in when you’re supposed to stand out!